SUN 1.19.2014

Nightly Forecast - Sun 1.19.2014

If your Sleep Number is...

25/30  -   Cherry on Top    -    

It's been cool. And you're exhausted. You'll sleep so soundly tonight the only thing that will wake you up are the sirens because you're significant other couldn't rouse you and called 9-1-1. Sweet dreams. 

35/40  -   Gummy Bear  -   

You're a wonderful host. And tonight it looks like you might have some company. A lot of company.  A bed with only two adjustable sides may not be enough for you. Perhaps "host" isn't the exact word we're looking for. 

45/50   -  Farmer's Daughter  -  

You'll need a lot of rest tonight because this weekend you're shooting a pilot in Vegas. Burying that poor pilot's body in the desert will take a lot of energy. 

55/60  -  Bedroom Slipper -  

You've always wanted to be on TV. Well this is your lucky night. Get a good night's sleep because tomorrow you'll be on America's Most Wanted. Pleasant dreams. 

65/70  -  Kitten Kaboodle  - Tonight's your lucky night. Whatever you dream will come true within the year. Try not to blow it. 

75/80  -  Royal Courtesan  -  

After a day like yours, doing nothing, thinking nothing, contributing nothing, it's a wonder you need any sleep at all. But you do. And you sleep so soundly. It's very annoying. 

85/90  - Overworked Carpenter  -   

Tonight you will sleep like a baby. Unfortunately you'll wake up like one, too. Crying and soaked in your own urine. Nitey nite. 

95/100 -   Spartan Soldier   -   

You like to work hard. Play hard. Sleep hard. Tonight you get your wish. Just remember to take out the trash before you retire for the evening or you'll never hear the end of it.

REMEMBER If you do not own a Sleep Number bed, you can find out your Sleep Number at any Sleep Number store. It is free and only takes a few minutes. Then you can get your SleepNumerology forecast.  And the world with all its riches will be yours for the taking...ha..haha...hahaha...hahahahahahahahaha.

Intro to SleepNumerology

FYI If you do not own a Sleep Number bed, you can find out your Sleep Number at any Sleep Number store. It is free and only takes a few minutes. Then you can get your Sleepnumerology forecast. 

Sleep Number                   Image                                   What it feels like

5/10                           Baby Angel:                    The softest setting there is, virtually 

                                                                            impossible for a full-grown 

                                                                            human to sleep on comfortably

15/20                          Cloud Sitter:                    Like a feather bed in heaven, 

                                                                            suitable for mimes and anorexics

25/30                          Cherry on Top:              Like a Maraschino cherry nestled in 
                                                                         whipped cream atop a strawberry parfait

35/40                           Gummy Bear:                 Magically molds to your body
                                                                            like white on rice

45/50                        Farmer's Daughter:            Like nestling in a hay bale with a
                                                                          "perfect" stranger

55/60                       Bedroom Slipper:                  Form fitting comfort that feels like home  

65/70                        Kitten Kaboodle:                  Professional sleepers find this to be 

                                                                               the peanut butter to their jelly 

75/80                       Royal Courtesan:                   Luxury and comfort even the most 
                                                                               hedonistic dauphin would approve of

85/90                 Overworked Carpenter:               For those so tired or drunk they
                                                                              could sleep on wood

95/100              Spartan Soldier:                   After a rough day of taking no prisoners, 
                                                               some people prefer to sleep on a slab of marble.  

What is SleepNumerology?

SleepNumerology is the study of the divine, mystical or other special relationship between the Sleep Number that a person sleeps on any particular night, and the events, influences or personality traits which that person experiences afterward.

Your Sleep Number can only be determined by sleeping on a Sleep Number bed. This site is not affiliated with the Sleep Number bed company or its associates. It is run by Dr. Mark O'Lepsy, a longtime user of the Sleep Number bed who dabbles in the occult and noticed some phenomenon which he will be sharing.

This site is for entertainment purposes only. Predicting the future based on which Sleep Number you slept on is, according to scientists, a pseudoscience and pseudomathematics, with a fair amount of hutzpah.

So it is a science.

To get your nightly forecast, you'll find your Sleep Number on the SleepNumerology Chart. If you don't know your Sleep Number, you can get it free at any Sleep Number store. THEN you look it up on the chart and behold as your future is laid out before you.

Read it and sleep.

Nitey Nite

Marco